Can’t even bring the glass of milk to my mouth without my hand making it shake everywhere
—The Flower Lane
Ducktails - The Flower Lane
So now she’s gone
and I feel a mess
Leave the world outside
to stay inside my head
Anyone to talk to
I haven’t met before
They said it couldn’t happen
That’s something to shoot for
Craft Spells - Talk About The Past (The Wake cover)
Feeling slightly better, not exactly 100% but I guess I never really was so
Uh my hands and fingers still shake at random times, its a little embarrassing and kinda hard to hide sometimes. I’m still not exactly sure what’s real or what’s just in my head but I’m trying not to pay too much attention to it. Can’t really tell if I exist right now or I’m just an idea of someone else’s mind. It’s hard to explain but that’s how I feel right now. Also, sometimes certain things appear to be moving when they actually aren’t.. It’s nothing huge but the movement is subtle and enough for me to get a little worried.
I guess I was just really stressed out about everything happening and then my car got stolen and it just opened the flood gates and I got really overwhelmed and couldn’t handle it anymore. It’s just been a lot of shitty things happening to me lately that’s making me really not want to see what the next day has in store for me. Just more reasons keep popping up that is making me firmly believe that I really can’t have anything nice or be legitimately happy with anything in my life.
I’m gonna just lay low for a while and I probably wont be posting as much stuff on here as often either, but I’ll still be around every now and then.
I had a really bad break down right now. I don’t feel too good and I don’t feel like I’m here right now. I’m gonna stay off of this site for a while and pretty much all other social media.
I really feel like my mind is unravelling. I couldn’t tell if I was real for and I didn’t know if everything else was real or just existing in my head to give me some sort of validation and comfort. But I’m gonna say bye for now and try to piece everything back together in my head. My phone will most likely be off for a while too.
Hope you guys are doing well and are ok. See you in a while.